Description

In some cases, flying monkeys may directly engage in abusive behavior on behalf of the narcissist, acting as proxies to carry out their wishes or inflict harm on their behalf. They may partake in gaslighting, manipulation, or other forms of psychological abuse to further the narcissist's agenda.

Ekho's Experience

There are a few people who I could put into this category, but I think the bipolar wife, Cathy, of my narcissist’s friend and coworker, Allison, would fit in here best.

After my narcissist was released from jail for the second time, he called Allison to pick him up. He told his sob story to her and Cathy. 

In response, Cathy was on a mission, perhaps driven by being bipolar. She went about town arguing with people who stood up for me and told just about anyone who would listen to her that I was the problem and that he was the victim. I remember feeling hurt because, for years, I had defended her while my narcissist’s social circle referred to her as “Crazy Cathy”. 

I could name many examples, but one stands out in particular. I had agreed to watch Cathy and Allison's daughter one day. When they dropped her off at my house, Cathy was acting very unhinged and was saying untrue and hurtful (or maybe in hindsight they were true) things about Amara and Gasper.  Allison apologized on behalf of Cathy, and I could tell that she was ashamed of her wife's words and actions.

Immediately, I told Allison that I understood and I would never hold it against her. I shared with her that I had dealt with things like OCD and even post-partum mental health issues, so I knew what it is like to have bad days. Yet, Cathy and, to a lesser extent, Allison had no qualms about defending my narcissist and throwing me under the bus.

I guess the good news is that when people talk about "Crazy Cathy", I never have to defend her again. I just nod in agreement.

Bucket of Water