(THE ENABLERS)
Co-Conspirator Cockroaches
Knowingly or unknowingly support the narcissist's behavior by excusing, justifying, enabling, and/or minimizing the narcissist's action
Aliases: Creepy-Crawler, Mischief Mite
Description
These repugnant creatures knowingly or unknowingly support the narcissist's behavior by excusing, justifying, enabling, and/or minimizing the narcissist's actions. They may make excuses for the narcissist's behavior (well she did x, or did you know that she did y) or even go as far as to blame the victim instead of holding the narcissist accountable.
Ekho's Experience
In my case, many of my narcissist’s flying monkeys fell into this category. His best female friend, Amara, (whom he lovingly referred to as Harelip behind her back due to her cleft pallet) is the prime example of a Co-Conspirator Cockroach. I had known her for six years and, up until the day my narcissist assaulted me for the second time, she was texting me and making plans to hang out regularly.
After my narcissist was released on bail and fled to her house to share his sob story, I never heard from Amara again. She immediately jumped to his rescue and was sure to defend him to the church and community at large. She had no qualms with making me out to be the villain. Her support for him did not waiver over time, even after my narcissist and I went to the Church Board (she was the Vice President) and explained that he had assaulted me and the reasons why I would be temporarily not attending church (i.e., I could not have my children around my narcissist and I wanted him to have a safe place in the community to attend with his children).
Fast forward a year after my assault. My narcissist was nominated to a position on the church board by yet another of his flying monkeys, Faith. When several members of the congregation began to question whether or not it was prudent to put my narcissist on the board after his name was in the paper not once but twice for domestic violence and harassment, Amara - still serving as the Vice President -- jumped to his defense, writing defamatory emails about me.
Mind you, this woman was at my house 2-3 times a week and sent her kids to my house almost daily before my assault.
Yet, the minute my narcissist went running to her telling to paint me as the villain, Amara immediately took his side, never bothering to ask me what happened. She was willing, in written and spoken word, to defend the person who assaulted me and to slander my name – all while boasting that she was a professor of women's studies and a feminist. Oh, the irony.